Fox Has Found the Perfect Trank-wilizer – Fantastic Four (2015)

I really don’t want to get into all the “he said/they said” about who’s to blame for the new Fantastic Four movie, as I suspect there’s plenty of blame to go all around. Instead I’ll start things off this way: I really can’t consider it a good sign when I find myself actually dozing off during what should have been an exciting new take on one of Marvel comic’s most prestigious properties.

Instead of that, however, what we got was at best a rather bland movie that tries to up the ante and bring in some actual conflict at the very end, but by then it’s far too late.

Those of you who have been following this blog for a while will know that I’ve really considered this movie to be a mistake ever since it was announced that Josh Trank would be directing it. I have absolutely no problem with his first film, Chronicle, but from the start I felt that his style – that of a more earthbound, serious, and “let’s throw every speck of CGI dust and dirt that we can on the screen” style simply was the wrong fit for a movie that should be evoking a sense of wonder and sparking the imagination of the audience. After all, the original Fantastic Four comic was the flagship of what we now know as the Marvel Universe. It was the foundation of everything that came after, from Spider-Man to the Avengers to the X-Men to… well, I could go on and on, but you all know exactly what I’m talking about.

Unfortunately, the only thing this movie is going to inspire is a lot of yawns.

Then there came the casting announcements. Of course, most of the focus at the time was on the casting of Michael B. Jordan as the Human Torch. As it turns out he may actually be the most appropriately cast character in the entire movie. Don’t get me wrong, I love Miles Teller, and was appropriately impressed with his starring role in last year’s Whiplash, but he’s simply not the right choice for the role of super-professor Reed Richards. As for Kate Mara’s Susan Storm and Jamie Bell’s Ben Grimm, let’s simply leave it at “the less said, the better”.

I will, however, allow that Toby Kebbell, who  is given the rather thankless task of taking on the role of the main villain of the piece, Victor von Doom (hey, why should I call him Doctor Doom when the only reference to him as that comes from a snide aside by Sue Storm before they even begin the fateful trip that gives them their powers?) does the best he can with the material that he has to work with.

Okay, so I suppose this is the point in this write-up where I should get down to the nitty-gritty and begin pointing out all of the things that are wrong with this movie, but if I really tried to do that, then I would be sitting here all day writing this, and it would actually be giving the movie more time than it’s actually worth. (Which, I admit, I may very well have done already.) Plus, there are plenty of other writers out there who are perfectly willing to do that, and personally I’m just salivating over the thought of watching the Cinema Sins guys dig their teeth into this one.  Instead, I’ll simply state that from the script level up, this movie so completely misunderstands not only these characters, their motivations, and what actually binds them together as a team that one begins to suspect that Trank (who was also at least partially responsible (I almost wrote “to blame”) for the script has never read any of the comics on which the film is supposedly based, but was simply given an outline of the characters and their powers and was told by Fox to go make a movie.

And the thing is, I’ve come to accept that I’m not necessarily going to see the comic books that I grew up with brought to life when I sit down to watch one of these movies. After all, it’s a different time, there are different audience demands, and I’m willing to accept that, as long as you don’t violate the core concepts of the characters and what makes them unique.

Want to change the origin? Well, okay, I may not like it, but I’m willing to accept it, especially since Marvel already set the precedent of making the voyage they are taking about going into another dimension as opposed to outer space in their Ultimate line of comics.

On the other hand, I really don’t need that revamped origin to take up 4/5ths of the movie. Heck, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby only needed eight or so pages of the first issue to get the ball rolling, and they were introducing not just a new team to the comics world, but an entirely new style of story telling. (Well, okay, maybe there’s a bit of hyperbole in that sentence, but you get the idea.) As far as the argument that the movie is using that time not just to show the origin but to establish the characters, I’d argue back that a) there’s not that much to these characters that needs to be established, and b) that’s the kind of thing that can be done just a well as the story moves along and you actually give us something worthy of the word “fantastic” to watch as opposed to simply more talking heads.

Oh, and as far as that sense of the fantastic goes? I’ll actually pass comment on that to my daughter who stated that she’d actually seen better special effects in some Disney Channel movies than what was on display here – a statement I find it hard to disagree with.

Of course, the movie really isn’t a total loss. At least when it comes out on disk I’ll know that if I ever have insomnia I can simply pop this one in and I’ll be sleeping like a babe in no time. So I guess I should at least thank Fox for that.

 

Turning A Negative Into A Positive – Here’s How Fox Could Turn The Fantastic Four From Bomb To Perfect Sequel Set-Up

So despite the critical drubbing and the box office failure of their new Fantastic Four movie, Fox says they remain “committed to these characters”. Fine. While I would prefer to see them let the rights revert back to Marvel so that we could see what their home studio could do with them and we could see them integrated into the larger cinematic Marvel Universe, it occurred to me in a recent discussion of the film with some of my co-workers that there is one way that the studio could actually take advantage of the situation it currently finds itself in in regards to the movie, and could actually use that as the perfect set up for a sequel.

And the idea even comes directly from the first year of the actual Marvel comic book. Fantastic Four #9 to be precise.

The issue opens with Reed Richards telling the team that it appears they are bankrupt. Despite the fact that he has sold many of his freshly created scientific devices, he has also made some bad investments, and the team now finds themselves penniless. Fortunately, it just so happens that at the same time an offer appears for the Four to appear in a Hollywood movie based on their many exploits.

Deciding that their only option seems to be to take the offer, the foursome hitch-hikes (yes, I said hitch-hikes) across the country from New York to Hollywood to take the studio up on their offer.

Upon arriving, however, the team makes a shocking discovery. It turns out that the studio that has made the offer is owned by none other than their long-term nemesis, Namor, the Sub-Mariner. According to the story he tells them, Namor has used the vast wealth he has gained from looting surface vessels that have fallen to the bottom of the sea to buy the studio, and despite their antagonism he realizes that there is money to be made from a film about the team’s many exploits.

Though they are, of course, distrustful of their foe’s motivations, the four agree that they really have no other option than to go along with the scheme, especially when the Sub-Mariner gives them a partial payment up front.

Hey, money talks, right?

Anyway, in order to begin filming, Namor orders Reed, Ben, and Johnny be taken to varying locations where they can show off their super-powers. Meanwhile, he will stay behind at the studio with Sue.

Of course, it all turns out to be a trap.

You see, ever since they first met in FF#4 (yes, their rivalry with the Sub-Mariner actually pre-dates their first meeting with Dr. Doom, at least as far as the comics go), Namor has had the hots for Susan. Therefore he has concocted this scheme not only as a way to destroy the male members of the four, but to woo the Invisible Girl over to his side in order to make her his bride.

Of course, his scheme eventually fails, with the Thing, the Torch, and Mr. Fantastic escaping the traps Namor has set for them and Sue completely rejecting his advances.

Finally, confronted with the reality that his scheme has fallen apart, Namor not only gives up, but gives them the rest of the payment that he has promised them in exchange for appearing in his movie.

Their money woes solved, and realizing that Namor has actually not committed any crime since they willingly agreed to the set-up of the film, the Four return to New York to pay off their debts and allow the Sub-Mariner to go free. Plus, as Sue notes, it would be three against one, and that just wouldn’t be fair. (?!)

(Oh, and yeah, there’s probably some outstanding charges that they could have used as an excuse too capture him, but hey, Stan only had 22 pages to work with here, so there really wasn’t room for another fight scene. Plus, we’re talking Marvel Law here, which at the time made almost as much sense as Marvel Science, so, you know, just let it go.)

So how could Fox take advantage of this story to create a sequel to the current Fantastic Disaster without completely nullifying it? It’s simple, really. They revert the characters back to something closer to their original incarnations, change the motivation of the Sub-Mariner (or whatever villain they want to use and/or have access to) from trying to woo Sue to wanting to humiliate the Fantastic Foursome by making a really bad movie about them, and voila, instant sequel plot.

I mean, really, it makes as much sense as heading on down the same path that viewers have already rejected. Plus, it would allow the studio a chance to win back some of the fans of the actual comic book – you know, those of us who were clamoring for an actual FF movie to start with and who made the property valuable to the studio in the first place. Plus, there’s more action in this 22 page story – thanks to the talents of Stan and Jack – than in most of the superhero movies to date.

C’mon Fox. I mean really, can this idea really be any worse than whatever else you might come up with for a follow-up?

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. As I noted in yesterday’s post, it could always be worse. But still…

 

Yeah, And That’s Exactly What Appears To Be The Problem – Here’s the New “Final” Trailer for Fantastic Four (2015)

Go ahead – watch the trailer first.

“There’s strength in Numbers.”

Of course, it’s just a catchy (if cliche) tagline playing off the emphasis on the “Four” in the title rather than the “Fantastic”, which is actually where the emphasis should be, but once again, Fox proves that they’re afraid to fully embrace the comic book nature of the properties they have optioned. (Again leaving us with the question of why option them in the first place? Is it really solely for the name recognition?)

And then there’s the part where any fan of the classic characters would tell you that the line should be “There’s strength in Family”, since one of the most the most interesting aspects of the book from its inception and especially in the ensuing years was the development of Reed Richards et al. into Marvel’s “First Family” amongst the hero set.

But, of course, the desired demographic can’t possibly (at least in studio think) deal with that, so…

Eh, we’re gonna get what we’re gonna get. And yeah, like everyone else, I’ll go see it. (Fortunately, I’m in a position where I can do that without plunking more dollars into the studio’s coffers.) And I’ll try to do that with a relatively open mind and remind myself that no matter how the movie at the end of the day turns out I’ll still have the classic characters and stories that I grew up with.

(And if I’m being honest, it’s not like Marvel’s publishing arm has exactly been treating the property much better for the past few years anyway, so I can’t lay all of the blame at Fox’s feet. Heck, they’re not even publishing a comic named The Fantastic Four at the moment.)

Thoughts, gang? Hit me with ’em in the comments. And while you’re at it, get those kids off my lawn, willya?!